White Knight Syndrome: Save Yourself, Not Others

Are you a White Knight?

A white knight is a person that feels the need, or feels they have a duty to save everyone from themselves and their problems constantly. I am not talking about helping people when they are in need now and again.

I am talking about the syndrome where some people feel they need to suffer or sacrifice themselves to save the person they love from themselves, instead of letting them deal with their problems or letting them go through whatever they need to learn to learn their lessons.

This does not only happen with needing to save people, but it can also be the environment, the world's problems, communities, races, etc.…

From my own experience, I realised that not only was I doing this unconsciously, but I also realised at a certain point of my evolved wisdom; that there was little point in saving others or the world at the sacrifice of myself.

There are multiple reasons why people unconsciously/consciously fall into this White Knight Syndrome. The causes can include:

1. It is a subconscious attempt to avoid your problems and what you need to face and heal them within yourself. It can become an insidious and very slow distraction.

2. People think the world is individual, objective, and independent from them. Therefore, the world becomes something that is always broken and always needs to be fixed.

3. Many feel inadequate or existing without a purpose if they are not working to save a problem, person, environment, or world problem outside of them.

4. It can come from a people pleaser mentality or the need to be appreciated/liked by everyone.

5. Psychological reasons. An example is when if the white knight was rejected or neglected by a parent, they may save others by giving them what the neglected parent should have given them as a child. They do not want to person to go through the same pain they did.

There are many more reasons why white knight syndrome can appear in us or why we play it out. There was a part in my life where I believed I needed to save everyone, make everyone happy, and deal with everyone's problems. It took a lot of trial and error to conclude that I found out this year that you cannot save everyone.

That is right; you cannot save everyone. Many do not want to be saved, and I will go a step further by saying that some people love to stay in their misery. It is difficult to see and realise this when someone is crying out for your help.

However, the way you find out if they want to be saved or changed is how they carry their life after you have aided them.

If they keep going back to a negative victim mentality, making self-destructive choices, taking self-destructive actions, and do not make any effort to change, it means they are just seeking sympathy and attention from that state of mind, without any attempt to change that state.

There have been many times where I have debates with people on how one can unconsciously enjoy being in a victim mentality state and choose not to move from there because that state is somehow serving them, even if it is crippling them and causing pain.

I have also had experiences of people condemning you when you need to give some advice or truth that may seem harsh but will save them.

The reasons for this could be that when you try to help them, if it shakes their comfort zone or makes them feel they must change, some people will rather attack you and keep their bubble comfort zone safe than go out and transform it into a better zone of new self-discovery.

Another danger of white knight syndrome is thinking when you sacrifice yourself, and you will be thanked or appreciated for what you did to help the person you offered to help.

That is not always the case. Yes, you may get those people who do appreciate what you do and may return it. However, to expect this from everyone you decide to help can be dangerous.

Some may use you for their victim mentality needs and leave you dry when they have had enough, some can be completely ungrateful, or some are just unaware of themselves and how lucky they were to get any help at all.

I am not a religious person, nor am I Christian, but the best example I give to people is that even Jesus was executed attempting to save the world with the greatest truth ever known.

So, what is the solution to the White Knight Syndrome? The answer is to save yourself and not become a martyr for the world, environments, people, causes, or agendas.

Many do not wish to go down this path because it requires facing many of your internal problems, realising some painful truths about yourself, and working to resolve them.

It also requires taking responsibility for anything unpleasant that happened to you in the past up until the present. Although this path may be long or unhappy (it varies between people), it is crucial to find inner self-love, divine guidance, and a new sense of empowerment and peace.

Go within, not without.

When your perception of the world changes after going within, you will not see it as a problem anymore, and thus you will not see people's problems as something that you need to solve anymore. You will not feel like you need to rescue people anymore from themselves. You will not see the wars of countries, races, and communities as something you need to join and fight on aside for.

If you happen to come across something unpleasant, or something you do not like, you change your perception of it; and it will change to what you perceive it to be. Changing your perception of your world is very different from saving what you think is objectively happening to you from the outside. Changing your perception requires you to change yourself self-first.

Even the bible in Luke 4:23 states, ' Physician Heal Thy Self. You are the physician, and thus you need to change (heal) your perception, to change the perception of what you think the world you live in is like.

If you wish to start healing and saving yourself but not sure where to get started, the best ways to start is from the book Zero Limits by Joe Vitale and all of Neville Goddard's books.

What is you view? Do you agree or disagree? Feel free to share your opinion in the comment box below.

Alana Monet-Telfer